What makes “me” qualified to own Silly Goose Business?
This is the guy (me) you’re reading about right now.
The Foreword, or whatever authors say at the beginning of an epic story.
I would like to first point out that you navigated to a website that I own and had the audacity to click on a post questioning my authority. Who owns Nike? That person surely doesn’t have to deal with unruly community members in the way that I do. Here we are, what a brutal way to kick off our sure to be fruitful friendship.
I would first like to submit for review my silly goose résumé, and provide you some historical context on what lead to you having the opportunity to read about me today. Enjoy at your own leisure, and look back at the fact that I took the time to spell résumé with the silly characters.
A 12 month goal, and a dream to go where few have gone before…
In December of 2022 I decided to finally commit to a dream that I had been flirting with for around a year. Like most people, I hit a rut in my post COVID life trying to figure out what my “normal” looked like. I was left feeling like I didn’t have any notable accomplishments as of late, and wanted to set out on a journey that would lead to a “lifetime achievement,” or at least something that I could put in my bio on social media accounts. So I started a list of lifetime achievements, with the threshold simply being an accomplishment that can start a dinner conversation. After a quick Google search I quickly realized that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to be the first person to step foot on the sun do to lack of courage from NASA. I turned my focus on goals that I could achieve with a single month of effort, that still provide with the same wow factor at a dinner party.
Month one of a year long adventure in silliness
This is where our journey really started, and where my silliness was finally cemented in a way that was undeniable. I decided that December of 2022 would be the month where I finally became a verified artist on Spotify and Apple Music. Now, if you’re expecting an emotional story highlighting my journey into the music industry from a young age, and some recount of the mountains I climbed to get there, you’re going to be really disappointed.
After another quick Google search I realized this would be the easiest lifetime achievement to start with. All I need to do was record a cover of a song, go to a distributer, and upload. It really is that easy. That gets you onto a streaming service and then the party can start. After a festive cover fest with two of my friends, we released an absolutely beautiful rendition of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” guaranteed to bring a tear to your eye. After a few emails back and forth with Spotify and Apple, I was in. The sweet sweet check mark was right next to my profile picture, and I was a verified streaming artist.
Taylor (that’s my name), did you really make this blog post to promote your music career?
Yes. Check out my Spotify loser, and while you’re here, get my stream count up on Apple Music.
Your music is awful and it makes me question the quality of the products you’re trying to sell me.
Wait! Before you go. The story isn’t over. That being said, pretty sick story so far if you ask me.
Go on…
Riding the high of becoming possibly the least talented artist in Spotify history, I turned my attention to my goals for January and February: Owning my own business and selling a stranger a shirt. The story in my about us section is accurate. Jesse and I have long wanted to make a lifestyle brand where we could release designs that reflect our world view. Jesse was the quality control guy that kept me grounded, while I was left with the way cooler responsibility of coming up with all of the designs and figuring out branding. Jesse ultimately decided that the vision for Silly Goose Business wasn’t something that he identified on. He doesn’t see himself as a silly goose, surprising considering he might be the silliest goose of them all. With an idea, and the newfound freedom to dream big, I started Silly Goose Business LLC. Over the past month or so I’ve spent a small fortune trying to decide how to get my poorly drawn goose on a shirt that I wanted to wear. The design was undeniably perfect, the shirt needed to live up to the goose being bestowed upon it. After testing the 21st shirt (no joke) I finally arrived at the shirt that I would go on to use for my first design. A design that I can take pride in and sell knowing that the quality far surpasses the asking price.
You made a company as a weird plot to undermine people’s achievements and sell me a t-shirt?
Yes, precisely. Glad we’re finally seeing eye to eye. I want success to seem obtainable to the common person.
Silly Goose Business was founded with one clear goal in mind, when given the opportunity to do something silly, seize it. If at first you don’t succeed, turn your attention to achieving something more obtainable.
You’ve made it this far, I promise my products are less insufferable than I am. Please buy something?
